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Sunday, 10 January 2016

Cheating As A Sickness

People have always been giving their best to try and analyse and understand humanity, we have heard many statements which aim at giving us an insight of how really humanity is. “Men are dogs”… “All men are the same”… “Women are evil”. We have seen a lot of picture messages trying to help us out as well; I remember one picture message which had a man reading a huge book written “the book on understanding women”, and a women carrying an approximately five pages book on understanding men.  Still those were efforts to solve the complication of humanity syndrome.  In my four years of embarking on studying humanity I learnt that sweeping statements never are true with humanity, a finding can be true to a portion but not everyone.

It is so tempting to give out statements about humanity, myself included, I find myself making sweeping statements regardless of my knowledge.  As a result, I do not blame those who make many different statements about any aspects of humanity. Amber Rose has been quoted by Instagramnews to have said “All men cheat, but if he loves you enough, you will never find out”. I would love to do away with the phrase “all men cheat”, and take it from the “if…”.  “ if a man really who loves you he will make sure that you never find out if he happens to cheat, if caught he is so sorry.”

Fellas, let’s talk man to man, ladies close your eyes this might hurt you. I think Amber could be right if we could just say ‘‘most men”. From the friends that I have, out of five of them four of them cheat, and the one who makes the five does not have a girlfriend. One thing I am sure about is they would faint if their girlfriends would find out in any way or another. They put all their effort in ensuring that they always come clean to their ladies. And, they work as a team on closing each other’s tracks.

The man to man talk chips in now, why do men cheat? Let me come out clean, I do not know why men cheat, I can only speculate. First, some men are suffering from a sickness which I call ‘ratting’; a man who suffers from ratting never feels o.k if he has nothing to hide from his lady. What I want to deal with is how most men reach this condition of ratting. I don’t mean to point fingers, but in a way the blame might fall on some individuals, I am sorry. Let me say this today, in many situations we suffer from volcanoes which we have brewed ourselves.

I analysed and asked my friends why do they really fall into cheating, and the answers were various. Among them was that “she did not have time for me anymore, she just got too busy for me”, also like “she bosses me around, I have to listen as she gives orders”, and “she distanced herself from me for a time”.  I think all these reasons point at one thing, ‘presence’, men want their women to be present. “Really why would I cheat when I have her by my side man?” one of my friend asked. The sickness then, ratting, comes in here. The stupid reason that pushed him to cheating passes off, the problem now is the addictive nature of the habit. Cheating is so addictive, just like the so infamous nyawope South African drug. The condition of ratting is when the situation that pushed the man to cheating has passed but he now cannot do away with cheating, then he rats. Cheating goes on for only a month or two, after that it’s ratting. The problem stiffens as the lady suspects the ratting and reacts in a way that might push the man even further away, she becomes snoopy.  Men do not like snoopy women, I assure you on that.

Amber Rose came out with what she was seeing in front of her, what I have done is give a name for the sickness that led to Amber’s conclusion, and then tried to reveal how men fall into the trap. Solutions, ouch! Next time.