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Let us Stop Filling Bins https://www.pinterest.com/clen1/true-love/ We may not know what really inspired the people of th...

Thursday, 28 January 2016

This Is True

These eyes might be sick
For I doubt their view
I can't believe what they erect in front of me
I can't believe its existence
I can't believe that I am seeing it

Oh! I got this
I am dreaming
But I feel the pain of my test pinch
I'm alive

Or maybe I'm in heaven
I am seeing an Angel
A heavenly being

The item 'beauty' is an understatement
I can't explain this

You will always be beautiful in my eyes.

Sunday, 17 January 2016

Resolutions, Let's Make Them

On the 17th of January 2016 I was lucky to wake up alive and healthy, I then took the precious chance to go to church for the first time in the year. To ensure that no year passes without an attendance to church I always try to visit church at least once in the first month of the year, so I did. I went to Jesus Calls Worship Centre in Matsapha, among the things that blessed me so much is that I found my lovely sister whom I love and respect so much leading in song. WoW! Wheter you like it or not, I assure you, she is superb with song. I wasn't surprised by her super music capability, I've always known she sings more beautiful even than the birds of the veld. Her song gave me strength and hope for 2016.

I have been shying away from talking about this year's resolution, myself is not the resolutions kind of a person; my reason is simple, I do not want to deal with the guilt all year through. So I just don't make the resolutions to protect myself. By so saying though, I am not saying yo should all join me in my stupidity and cowardice. Please, I am begging you, make the resolutions good people. I have been told this year our brothers and sisters and sisters who rarely have birthdays will be honoured and have the 29th of Februay to have their chance to celebrate their birthdays. It's a leap year, what does this mean then? Easy, it means we have one more day to matiarialize our plans. I thinks its a good year for resolutions, isn't it?

One mistake we should watch for in the process of resolutions making is not being fantastic, or fanatic; pardon me it''s a third language. Do not make resolutions that you have failed to keep for the past four years, c'mon, you should accept defeat. In actual facts, I prefer plans than resolutions, then the plan goes with principles. When you have seen that your plans need more money than last year's plans, you will come up with principles that will guard your spending. Principles are within, while in most cases resolutions are some kind of a show off. Just a thin line, the publicity.

Moslty, I do not understand why do we need to involve everyone on our plans and principles, thoughts and views of our future. I do not understand. Why do we need to tell everyone about us, why? Why not just be you and do your things for yourself? Let people run around while you know what you are doing. The danger in letting everyone in is that you will have to keep "standards" even when times are not fine at that particular moment. Let me tell you a story about some person I used to know. At some point things were going his way, prosperity was his second name. And a new year came, he resolved not to board on public transport no more, "I'm not going back to public transport no more, from 2012 onwards." We were happy for him, public transport is strenuous and we all know that. A season of drought befell the man, his two cars crushed and they were beyond repair. As that was not enough, his business vanished, and so sadly he lost his only son to a six months long illness. For he swore not to go back so sit next to us in public transport, he had to start renting cars. Money never stopped leaking out, the money for renting was no more. He took his life. He made one tragic flow, telling us his resolutions.

A piece of advice from a fool, make principles, resolutions which are only known to you. From deep inside my spinal code, for I believe emotions are kept in the spinal code; I wish you a wonderful 2016, I wish that you accomplish your plans, and you keep your principles. Myself will give my best shot to accomplishing my plans, I do have them. And they haunt and taunt me everyday.

Sunday, 10 January 2016

Cheating As A Sickness

People have always been giving their best to try and analyse and understand humanity, we have heard many statements which aim at giving us an insight of how really humanity is. “Men are dogs”… “All men are the same”… “Women are evil”. We have seen a lot of picture messages trying to help us out as well; I remember one picture message which had a man reading a huge book written “the book on understanding women”, and a women carrying an approximately five pages book on understanding men.  Still those were efforts to solve the complication of humanity syndrome.  In my four years of embarking on studying humanity I learnt that sweeping statements never are true with humanity, a finding can be true to a portion but not everyone.

It is so tempting to give out statements about humanity, myself included, I find myself making sweeping statements regardless of my knowledge.  As a result, I do not blame those who make many different statements about any aspects of humanity. Amber Rose has been quoted by Instagramnews to have said “All men cheat, but if he loves you enough, you will never find out”. I would love to do away with the phrase “all men cheat”, and take it from the “if…”.  “ if a man really who loves you he will make sure that you never find out if he happens to cheat, if caught he is so sorry.”

Fellas, let’s talk man to man, ladies close your eyes this might hurt you. I think Amber could be right if we could just say ‘‘most men”. From the friends that I have, out of five of them four of them cheat, and the one who makes the five does not have a girlfriend. One thing I am sure about is they would faint if their girlfriends would find out in any way or another. They put all their effort in ensuring that they always come clean to their ladies. And, they work as a team on closing each other’s tracks.

The man to man talk chips in now, why do men cheat? Let me come out clean, I do not know why men cheat, I can only speculate. First, some men are suffering from a sickness which I call ‘ratting’; a man who suffers from ratting never feels o.k if he has nothing to hide from his lady. What I want to deal with is how most men reach this condition of ratting. I don’t mean to point fingers, but in a way the blame might fall on some individuals, I am sorry. Let me say this today, in many situations we suffer from volcanoes which we have brewed ourselves.

I analysed and asked my friends why do they really fall into cheating, and the answers were various. Among them was that “she did not have time for me anymore, she just got too busy for me”, also like “she bosses me around, I have to listen as she gives orders”, and “she distanced herself from me for a time”.  I think all these reasons point at one thing, ‘presence’, men want their women to be present. “Really why would I cheat when I have her by my side man?” one of my friend asked. The sickness then, ratting, comes in here. The stupid reason that pushed him to cheating passes off, the problem now is the addictive nature of the habit. Cheating is so addictive, just like the so infamous nyawope South African drug. The condition of ratting is when the situation that pushed the man to cheating has passed but he now cannot do away with cheating, then he rats. Cheating goes on for only a month or two, after that it’s ratting. The problem stiffens as the lady suspects the ratting and reacts in a way that might push the man even further away, she becomes snoopy.  Men do not like snoopy women, I assure you on that.

Amber Rose came out with what she was seeing in front of her, what I have done is give a name for the sickness that led to Amber’s conclusion, and then tried to reveal how men fall into the trap. Solutions, ouch! Next time.

Tuesday, 5 January 2016

You go got!

I have this sister of mine who would just swear at you without a much apparent reason, she does not mind meeting and just say "iyawbotja Manyosi", this can be translated to "it that never ends is an ormen".  You just get confused which joy is she swearing for to end soon now. One thing that makes her great is just that, we just laugh non stop after such. She is so great with the foreign language, English, I ask from her when I get stuck with the language of the Anglos. One day she made me laugh more than all the other days when she just brought a pure siSwati proverb to English without really anglocising it.

"You got got". I was like "I what!?", she just repeated herself, "you got got". Just after about 73 seconds I was laughing a storm, I now understood how she came up with such a great English proverb. In my mind I was like "I gotta help the English users and add this one for them, they surely will enjoy having it". For one to understand clearly what "you got got" means one should follow carefully.

When one is beaten by something s/he thought s/he is a master of, or something s/he thought beats stupids, we say "utfolakele" in siSwati. This means that something that you thought won't beat you has beaten you. You have been got by what you thought won't get you, thus arriving to the point where my sister would say "you got got". So English users, when one is beaten at his or her own game, they got got.

My point here is that let us not hold our heads too high in many aspects, for we do not know when things would turn around then they get the chance to say to us "you got got". Let us be humble, even with the things we think we know so much, just say "I will give it a try and see if I can handle it". If you deal with that duty greatly then all praises ate yours, if you fail they would say "s/he did promise to give her/is best to it". Bragging is so not good for one, it places you at a position where everyone is looking forward to your failure, where we are all looking forward to saying "you got got".

Just like you, who thinks is a great reader, you might not understand this article. And you know what, you got got. WoW!

It will be o.k

Waking up without anywhere to go to makes each day longer than it should be, it makes every mock to sting more than it should, it changes genuine comments to mockery ones. Having to wake up and plan, plan for all the stuff you can't execute because you are unemployed makes life a pure nightmare. The sting of unemployment is more painful than the sting of a thousand bees. Actually physical pain is less strong compared to emotional pain. When unemployment hits a couple, one part of it, it cuts between them like a knife does to a clothe.

I suppose you have once watched Tyler Perry's"The Family That Preys", and Tyler Perry is just good at writing, that movie is inexplicably superb to me. It shows clearly the sting of sub-unemployment. "I can be nicest man on earth, but if you keep pissing me off we are gonna have a problem" Chris, Andrea's husband. The man was trying, he really was, but his wife would trample on the little pieces of his ego every chance she gets. Keep this in mind, Chris was sub-unemployed, imagine an unemployed husband. Chris ended up slapping his wife Andrea, something he never would have loved to do.

What is this soul talking about today? That's a good question. I aim to talk about violence in couples; married or stay inns, I do not trust my fairness on this one, I might be bias. I'm sorry in advance. Among the many causes of violence, I will single out some and not talk about them; the likes of individuals whom violence was instilled in them since they were a year old, I won't talk about those. I want to talk about good people who change to violence due to their surroundings, the home or house surroundings of the time of the eruption of the violence.

Mostly, men violence towards women. Men have this inborn sickness, EGO, may I please be honest with you on this, EGO is one thing I understand but I cannot explain it to you; I feel it that see it. When a couple stays together, both unemployed, one way or the other the men feels like he has the responsibility to provide for them, even in this era of equity. Women want equity when things are running smoothly, when they turn bad they assume the place they have been running away from in the name of equity, they look up to the man to stand up and come up with something. The man then engages in an internal war with his own ego at that time, the ego tells him 'you gotta do something, she is looking up to you', the brain and situation say 'things are bad, nothing is working to your direction'. The man badly gets angry at his own ego, unfortunately, its something he cannot touch, grabb, shake, hit against the wall. The women then unknowingly joins the war, she takes the side of the ego. Look at this, something the man can grabbed, touch, hit, shake and hit against the wall joins the war side of the one the man has been willing to retaliate against. When the women talks to her partner about the needs of the house, about the shortages of the house, about what other men has accumulated; she unconsciously takes the side of the ego and is now fighting against her husband emotionally. This war goes on for a long time, the man trying very hard to keep it emotional. I assure you, if it persists for a longer time it will slip out of his control, it will change to a physical war, and the victim will be the tangible one; the woman. It is not that the man is violent and has sat down and planned to be violent against his partner, NO. It is that his partner joined a war that has already been going on for a long time inside him. I wonder what blinds women that by telling your man what your male friend has achieved you are in a way telling your man that "real men are working and achieving, you are busy being stupid and sitting here". Believe me on this, it kills a man to tell him about what your friend's boyfriend has achieved, or your male friend. The man has already many a times beat himself for being unable, why really do you have to hit a bleeding sore? You hit a bleeding sore, violence erupts as the man will retaliate at some point.

Even worse, the woman is working and taking care of the family needs. The man will everyday have the fight against his own ego, "really! You think you are a man? What kind of a man who is provided by her woman, the person you should be providing for?" Ego bullying the man. Don't look at him and see him smile and think he is happy and has forgotten that he is unable, it eats him up every chance it gets.  And be careful, I'm talking about men, not males. The man is dying inside, losing a battle against his own ego. The poor women, unknowingly, will get a bag of hot chilli and rub on the wounds opened by the spear of the ego. "Dumisa did get a job today, he went to the company's offices than sending emails and letters" working lady. Even if she is just tipping her man on a new strategy he can try, but to the man this sounds like 'real mem who are serious, unlike you who enjoy being taken care of by a woman, are doing their best to get jobs". The man being him, who has searched for a job for a time, understands that one steps to an office if he has spoken to someone in there prior to going in. It hurts so much that his lady has said he is not serious about finding a job and he enjoys being taken care of by her. "Bongani bought Dudu a car for her birthday, WoW! She knows love indeed" working woman talking about her friend's birthday present. Then the man thinks "so I hate you".As time goes by and such statements keep on being uttered, the man loses it and does what he wouldn't have loved to do to his lovely partner. Violence has got an entrance hole.

What happened to being supportive, understand that the person beats himself erveyday for his failures, and try to comfort him and heal the wounds left by the ego he has. Telling him things will be fine and the situation will change, you both will be happy again. Stop bringing other people's affairs here, for it does not help in any way, rather it destroys all chances of ways forward.

Friday, 1 January 2016

Love as A Tree

"True Love is never found, but it is built." Anonymus. "Anonymous" yes, I always try not to steal other people's minds, I do make my works on basis of others but I always make sure I do say that I am not the owner.

Maybe before I start talking non-stop, let me take this time and congratulate you for crossing over to 2016, you did a great favor for me by crossing over to 2016. Make those resolutions now, do not worry about 2015's failures, just go to the drawing board and make new resolutions. People would usually say "this is my year", I love that attitude, I love it. I am giving this one to you, 2016 is your year, take it, take it, its yours. When we say 2016 is your year we do not mean to say others won't prosper, but to say you ate joining the others.

Back to the most strenuous topic at hand, I wonder why did I embark on such a journey on a resting day. True Love, in the quote the mind behind says "True Love is never found, but it is built". I say 'give that man a Bell's'. In one of my essays I said "love finds you that you finding love" Dlamini (2015), oh! last year. When love finds you, it is just love, we can't yet say "true or false, strong or weak", what matters is how the nurturing process is taken. I say love is like a tree, to grow old and bear good fruits it has to be well taken care of, watered, manured, weeded for.

When you come across a potential partner and you feel your heart skipping at his or her sight, then you have a seed in your hands. You carry the seed around trying to prepare the land for the seed, trying to bring the needed conditions for germination. Once the potential says "yes", then you can burry the seed, take care of it by ensuring that the conditions are conducive for germination. When your potential says "yes", s/he actually is saying "let us give it a change and see if it can grow to a healthy relationship". In that process, that is where true love is born and built. For me, love germinates just like a seedling, how good you care for it dertemines whether it will be strong for storms and droughts or it will be wiped away by simple after winter winds. If it can stand storms and droughts, that is when we say "this is true love".

Tests always come, nobody plans and plots them. When tests come they come together with headache. I would say to my friends 'a good flowing relationship scares me, the time it comes across problems it will just crumble". A relationship must be through 'thick and thin' in order to be strong for bombs to come. Not to say partners should hurt their lovers intentionally, saying they are preparing them for the future. As you endure the challenges, that is when you are building 'true love' as the quote said. Too much talkative, yes I am. Let me cut this one short and end here.